The Amount you Tip is Directly Correlated with the Size of your Soul

If you eat here, you better leave a tip.Many of you know that I work as a server in a restaurant, at least until this website kicks off and starts getting some traffic.

As a poor college student, there is nothing worse than slaving over a picky table and then getting a crappy tip to rub it in. Let me tell you, servers have to deal with the most picky, obnoxious people in the universe and do it with a smile.

When their kitchen messes up, they have to deal with it.

When the managers are in a bad mood, they have to deal with that too.

The computer system for inputting food is confusing, the side-work is torturous, the hosts are failing to seat them with big parties, and worst of all; they have to deal with complete strangers and their random life issues.

When you give a server a bad tip, it crushes their spirits. Not only are you docking their pay, but you sucked away time and energy that could have been spent on another table.

When you give a server a good tip, not only do you bring them happiness but you put them in the proper mood to give other tables good service and thereby make better tips from them as well. A good server can mask the disappointment associated with a bad tip, but most customers can sense their feelings anyway.

Your bad tip could have a compound effect of directly docking a person's pay and hurting their pay from other tables as well.

Oh, you don't believe a tipping system should happen?

Well there is only one way to take care of that... don't eat at the restaurant and make your reasons known. Restaurants will respond to customer demand. If you don't believe in tipping the only thing you can do to change it is to not give the restaurant your business.

Do NOT simply give bad tips because you do not believe in the system. The restaurant really does not care if the servers make good or bad tips. No matter how crappily (I know that isn't a word) you tip, the system will stay in place as long as the restaurant is making the profit they want from the food you buy.

No tip? You have no soul

Only someone completely evil would go out and use someone's service and then not pay them for it. The word optional does not remove obligation. 

You have an obligation as a human being to pay people for their service. You also have an obligation as a human being to not be evil. Some would say those two are the same thing.

But what if someone can't afford to tip?

Really? You can afford to spend money on an expensive dinner but you can't afford to tip? You bought a soda for almost $3 (that you could get at a gas station for $1) and you can't afford to tip? You need to rethink your budget if you spend every last spare penny on a nice dinner and must refuse to pay for the service given by the server because you do not have significant financial margins.

You didn't pass elementary school and cannot do math?

Now that we've established that purposely not tipping is evil, the only reason possible for your bad tips is that your math skills suck. In my restaurant, a good tip is considered 20% or higher. 15% is reasonable and anything less than 10% means the guest is Satan. 

If you can't do math, just tip an insane amount or bring a calculator. Don't tip $5 on a $53 tab just because it is an even number and you are too lazy to do math. If you have the financial margins to eat an expensive dinner and order expensive drinks, then you should also have the money to tip generously.

Here's a tip from my soul: Tip if you have a soul.